I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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