In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
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are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
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We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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