OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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