We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
