I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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