just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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