Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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