Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
