Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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