definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize