woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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