their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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