Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
