We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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