So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
