I can text with my tongue
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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