yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
