Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
