you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
