Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
