don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
