butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
