Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
