Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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