Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
