what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We named our party play list daddy issues
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
