ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
