All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
