I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Randomize
