i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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