he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
