idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
