i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
