so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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