I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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