somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
