dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
