Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Watching her eat just hurts me
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
