On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
