im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
