Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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