I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
