I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!