i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.