connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
