Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino