K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.