turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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