Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
