ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
