Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
