I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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