How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
