YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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