I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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