I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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