we have officially lost it.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize