Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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