I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
