Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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