dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
