I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize