I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
