yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
