I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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