I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
