I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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