I wish I could teleport
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
