fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
