totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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